Father (to audience)- Teenagers frankly disbelieve their parents have important phone calls. To have an important phone call implies an important life, a clearly ludicrous concept when applied to a teenage daughter’s father. Thus, there is never any compelling reason to write down any information when someone manages to piece through the nearly impenetrable shield of busy signals your daughters have erected around the family’s phone system and asks to speak to a parent- messages are conveyed orally, if at all, and usually in the following format. (pause) D- Dad, some guy called. F- Who? D- I don’t know, but he said it was important. F- Was it a business or a personal call? D- I don’t know. F- Was it a relative? D- No, I said it was some guy, duh. He called you, “Mr. Cameron.” F- So it was probably a business call. D- Whatever. F- Did he leave a phone number? D- Yes, but I didn’t write it down. F- Why not? D- Don’t yell at me. F- I’m not… Look, don’t you think it is reasonable that when someone calls for me, you write down his telephone number, and maybe the reason for his call? D- Well, I didn’t have time to be reasonable, I had to call Heather. It was an emergency. F- Okay. This guy who called, did he say anything at all? D- Yeah, something about 1998. F- Nineteen ninety-eight? D- Yeah. F- Some guy called and said something about the year 1998? D- That’s it! F- No, that’s not “it.” What about the year 1998? Was he just calling to reminisce? D- I don’t know, it was complicated. He’s from a service. F- A service. D- Whatever. F- A service station? D- Sure. F- A man called from a gas station to talk about 1998. D- I can’t believe you are making such a big deal out of this. F- A service… Wait a minute, do you mean the Internal Revenue Service? D- I guess so. That could have been it. F- You guess so? Someone calls from the IRS and says he wants to talk to me about the tax year 1998, and you didn’t even thing to take a message? I’m being audited by the Internal Revenue Service, and you didn’t even bother to get the man’s name? D- Well, why do I have to take a message? You obviously already know all about it!
(pause)
D- Dad, some guy called.
F- Who?
D- I don’t know, but he said it was important.
F- Was it a business or a personal call?
D- I don’t know.
F- Was it a relative?
D- No, I said it was some guy, duh. He called you, “Mr. Cameron.”
F- So it was probably a business call.
D- Whatever.
F- Did he leave a phone number?
D- Yes, but I didn’t write it down.
F- Why not?
D- Don’t yell at me.
F- I’m not… Look, don’t you think it is reasonable that when someone calls for me, you write down his telephone number, and maybe the reason for his call?
D- Well, I didn’t have time to be reasonable, I had to call Heather. It was an emergency.
F- Okay. This guy who called, did he say anything at all?
D- Yeah, something about 1998.
F- Nineteen ninety-eight?
D- Yeah.
F- Some guy called and said something about the year 1998?
D- That’s it!
F- No, that’s not “it.” What about the year 1998? Was he just calling to reminisce?
D- I don’t know, it was complicated. He’s from a service.
F- A service.
D- Whatever.
F- A service station?
D- Sure.
F- A man called from a gas station to talk about 1998.
D- I can’t believe you are making such a big deal out of this.
F- A service… Wait a minute, do you mean the Internal Revenue Service?
D- I guess so. That could have been it.
F- You guess so? Someone calls from the IRS and says he wants to talk to me about the tax year 1998, and you didn’t even thing to take a message? I’m being audited by the Internal Revenue Service, and you didn’t even bother to get the man’s name?
D- Well, why do I have to take a message? You obviously already know all about it!